Been awhile

First off I don’t hate my mom. I love her, she’s one of the few people in my family I can stand, and actually enjoy being around. The reason I hate Mothers day is my family. Whenever there is a holiday my aunts and uncles visit, which would be fine if I thought they were tolerable. What’s so horrible about them? Nothing really, to an outsider everything would probably look fine. Every time they visit though I get put down. Not directly mind you, but an off hand comment here, a boastful comment there, and boom self esteem destroyed. I can’t help but feel that I’m always being compared to my cousins. I always hear about how well they are doing, and how smart they are, or athletic, or they are so good with people, or they are driven. While all this is being said I just sit there in silence. Which is another thing I HAVE to “socialize” which for me consist of sitting in a chair in the same room as my family. I honestly have a hard time feeling any relation to them. As soon as I know they are coming I Play guitar, or bass to try and show off. What kind of family is that? That I feel the need to impress people who are siblings of my mother? It’s not fair

When people think of addiction their minds usual jump to drugs as the cause, but everything is a drug. What I mean by that is everything is a chemical. All enjoyment in life comes from chemical reactions in the brain that tell a person to feel a certain way based on outside stimulus. Narcotics simply intensify these good feelings to the point where the human mind and body view them as a need. So addiction could be seen as making a want, become a need. As soon as what you want becomes what you need your addicted.

Women ah women how my hormones lust for your flesh. How I crave the soft touch of you lips on mine. How I think I need to feel the warmth of your body against me. Yet I can barely stand most of the girls I know, and the ones I can stand I have 0 attraction to. Nothing makes my day more than seeing that one girl i’ve been lusting over for the past month or so walk past me without a glance. Of course the two of us are “friends” but it’s the kind of friendship based of one weak inside joke. Now my mind says “you know you have nothing in common with her and if she were unattractive you would probably dislike her” but of course my body doesn’t listen to my mind, and so the appropriate chemicals are released into my brain and I continue to lust after the girl with no real reason.

I’m slowly coming to terms with how little of my life I control. Now not to sound like an angst driven teenager but I don’t really have control over my life. Genetics and conditioning create a human being and that human carries out the instructions it was created with. Do not misunderstand me I do not believe in fate. I do believe however that free will is not real. Humans have an illusion of free will we think we are doing what we truly want when we are only doing what our genetics are telling us to do. For me there are 2 steps to creating a human identity:

1 The sperm and the egg meet and a genetic code is formed.

2 this genetic code in the form of a human is raised a certain way and based on the genetic code the child adepts different ways of thinking

For example one child is spanked when he steals his code takes the information of “I stole and I was Punished” and decides i will not steal for fear of punishement

Then the same thing happens to another child accept this time the information is translated into I was punished because stealing is wrong.

I do not believe i have free will I do what I do because of the natural processes of my body, even now as i write this post. It wasn’t truly my choice to write It years of mental development and information filtering led up to this post

Now the simplest way i can put it is in the example of homosexuality. Being gay is not a choice it is a genetic mutation, I do not have the free will to choose between a man and a women I am attracted to women and that’s just how it is I didn’t decide one day I like women i always have because that’s how i was born. I do what i do because that’s who I am.

you can get it here: http://101days.bandcamp.com/track/drive

Never really under the original Avengers. I mean i understand it story wise, but from a writers perspective i don’t get why the Hulk, Iron man, Captain America, and Thor were cast as the heavy hitters of the series. I’m not saying that it’s bad writing or that their stories don’t crossover well, but As a whole it seems like a boring roster of characters. Yes i know there are other characters in the avengers but no one really notices them. The avengers powers boil down to:

Hulk- Extreme strength, super speed

Thor- Super strength, Hammer

Captain America- Strength but weaker than Thor, shield

Iron Man- Flight, Super Strength, Lasers Rockets ect

I mean on there own they are interesting and cool but when put together i feel like the whole super hero thing get’s watered down. 

Then of course there is the other extreme the justice league which is ever single super power ever jammed into one series which has the same watered down effect just with a different flavor. JL is like eating a Twix Bar, Snickers, and Three Musketeers  at the same time sure it’s tasty and there different but you get sick of it fast. The avengers is more like eating cheerios and occasionally getting a fruit loop there isn’t much variety and when there is it’s not that interesting.

while I’m on the subject of groups of super heros i can’t ignore the X-men
in my humble opinion the X-men is how large groups of heroes can exist together without watering down the fact that everyone has super powers. The key to this is weakness. Close to all of the characters in X-men can die. Example even though Storm has control over weather and can completely wreck an entire city one bullet could kill her. Now compare storm to say superman who is invulnerable has ridiculous super strength can fly shoot laser and freeze stuff. Aside from a super rare rock superman can’t be beat. The justice league is filled with super heroes who have superman status abilities without weaknesses. The avengers is more like WWE a bunch of guys in costumes pounding the living hell out of bad guys, there is more variety in kickass, which may I remind you contains no super powers.

Class is another thing the avengers and justice league lack. Ask yourself this who is the brute force in the avengers? Hulk right, okay what about captain america and thor? whose the ranger? Hawkeye? then what black widow and iron man? the character in avengers don’t seem to have purposes other than sheer number of super heroes

speaking of sheer number of super heroes i wash my hands of the justice league. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to put Martian man hunter and Batman in the same universe but it’s a bad one nuff said.

sayy whatttt

Coming Soon?

BEST DAY EVER!!!!

Today I will challenge myself as well as any one else who reads this to make a song out of this one sample. You can do whatever you want to the sample cut it up distort it destroy it mash it crash ect. but you can only use this sample. Without further delay let us start something

The Uk i’d like to meet the culture my culture evolved from